Reflections

We decided to throw a couple old pictures in just to throw everyone off. This is Henry at about 18 months in our old house. He'd climbed up the couch and onto the ledge so he could look out the window. This picture is of Charles the day we brought him home. He's still wearing his travelling clothes. It's one of my favorite pictures.

We've actually had a hectic week. Andrew has been sick since Monday with a fever, cold, and a terrible cough. I took him in on Thursday to see our doctor because his fever had been so high and he would cough so hard that he would vomit. It's likely just a bad cold, but the doctor tested him for whooping cough. We have no results yet so we're keeping him quarantined until we do. This also meant that we had to cancel his birthday party for today. We were going to celebrate his tol, which is a Korean first birthday party. In Korea, the first birthday is a big celebration. His birthday isn't until tomorrow...well, I guess technically it is today since it's the 30th in Korea. Hmmm....maybe we should start having a Korean birthday the day BEFORE their birthday since that's actually when they would have been born, and an American birthday on the day. I'm sure the boys would LOVE that!! We decided to have his party on the 13th since we also finalize his adoption in court on the 11th. It will be sort of a double celebration. So, we were disappointed that we couldn't have his party, but the day of rest has done him well.

The days around their birthdays are always a little sad for us. We think about their Korean moms, dads, and families every day, but especially around their birthdays. And, ESPECIALLY around their first birthday. In a town in Korea today, there is a very sad mom and dad. And, of course, it makes me sad that she's sad. It's also made me think about how much sadness and grieving sorrounds adoption. Oh, yes....it's wonderful and we've been so truly blessed through adoption with 3 amazing boys. And, there is a lot of happiness in adoption. However, there is sadness for every person involved. Imagine their Korean moms' and realizing that you wouldn't be able to parent your child and having to hand them over to someone and not knowing where or with who they would spend their lives. Wondering everyday if they were happy, well, and thriving with their family. Missing their first words, steps, going to school. Not being able to comfort them when their sick? Yes, they can be happy that their children are living a life they may not have been able to give them, but the sadness is still there. What about the kids? Oh, yes... people say, 'They were just babies. They don't remember anything. They're not sad about their family.' I know that they ARE sad about their families. They DO remember. I've brought them home and held them while they cried for their foster families. I've listened to them ask me why their moms gave them away. 'Didn't they like me?' they say. Sometimes they're sad on their birthdays, Gotcha Days, their brothers birthday... And, then the questions start because they're thinking about and missing their Korean families. I feel badly for the kids because they have no control, and they're expected to be 'grateful.' They don't get to choose who to live with. They didn't choose to leave their homeland, their birthculture to join a family who looks nothing like them in another country. They didn't choose to live as the minority in their city, school, and church. My children are generally very happy, but they have/do/will greive their loss. And, yes, even we, the parents who gained so much, feel sadness because of adoption. For many, their sadness starts because of infertility. Thankfully, that wasn't the issue with us because, in all honesty, we could have had biological children. We chose not to partly because it wasn't that important to us. Our sadness stems from that of our children and their Korean mothers and dads and families. When our kids are sad, we're sad. We're sad for their moms and families because they are missing so many wonderful things. I was sad when I left Korea with Andrew. I felt like was robbing him and his brothers of a truly beautiful and amazing culture and country. I was taking them away from so many people who loved them. Oh, I know they're not at a loss for love. They're loved by so many I can't even count them all. I realized in Korea, that they're loved by people I have no idea even exist. But, I can't teach them to be Korean, and that makes me sad. Because, I truly believe that they need to know how to be Korean and what it means to be Korean. Thankfully, we have been blessed with a number of amazing Korean mentors who are making a huge difference in our lives. So, in spite of the sadness, we have experienced so much happiness and have been so blessed. We have the 3 most perfect boys, and we couldn't be happier.

Chaos rules at the Paul house!!

Just posting a few pictures and a quick update from the past week. I can't believe how chaotic our life has become with the addition of kindergarten. And why? It's just dropping off one 6 year old boy for almost 3 hours in the morning. However, it's amazing what a difference it makes. On the days Charles goes to preschool, we leave the house at 8:15, drive to his preschool and drop him off. Of course, Henry ALWAYS wants to go in so he can see his friend, Mikka, so that adds a few minutes. And, then we visit a little with the preschool teacher. We leave her house by 8:40 so I can get Henry back to the school and dropped off so he can play for 10 minutes before the bell rings at 9:10. Min and I go home so that he can have his morning nap. I manage a few minutes of cleaning, laundry and the like before he wakes up. We play or run errands before having to be back to pick up Charles at 11:30 so we can make it back to the school to pick up Henry by 11:50. Then home, lunch, quiet time so Min can have a nap. The hard part.... Charles daycare is on the other side of town. Henry's school is about 3 blocks from our house. Usually, by Friday, I am so tired of the van that I wish I could just walk or bike wherever I need to go. The good news is that we are settling in.

Charles is doing great going to preschool alone. He is becoming such a big boy and a really great big brother. He's participating more in preschool activities, and has become so much more grown up at home. I got to drive Charles, Andrew, and two other boys from Charles preschool to Sekapp Orchard on Monday. Ja Neal was taking everyone and needed an extra driver. I actually really like doing this because the kids are hilarious. When you drive, you are essentially invisible and they talk as if you aren't there. You hear the funniest comments from the kids. I had 3 4 year old boys and Min, and the conversation was hilarious. Henry is really liking school and has made a couple good friends. I feel much better since I've gotten to know the teacher and a few of the other moms whose kids are in Henry's class. Henry started running on adrenaline on about Wednesday because he was testing for his yellow belt on Saturday. He could hardly go to sleep at night and was up at the crack of dawn every day. The test went well, and he found out the he passed so now....he's a 'yellow-belter.' Of course now it's...'when do I get to test for my green stripe?' We've created a monster!! But, a good one. He's doing really great and absolutely LOVES tae kwon do. We camped on last time before the winterizing the camper. The boys vegging in the camper. Actually, it looks like only Henry is since Charles has that 'look' in his eye, and I KNOW that Min isn't vegging.
Cruising around a boulder. Min is cruising around like mad. He can go from lying to sitting, and is getting very good at going from sitting to standing without holding onto anything. He can walk as well holding with one hand as he can with two....except on grass...and is occasionally taking 2-3 steps alone.
Here he is taking about 3 steps. The grass is not such a good choice, but he managed. New word of the day...'apple.' He LOVES apples. Not much other news from here. Andrew turns 1 on Sunday, but we're having his party on Saturday. Actually, his birthday techinically is on Saturday.... we're planning a smaller version of a Korean tol. In Korea, the first birthday is a huge celebration. So, we'll have a very traditional meal that people who aren't very familiar with Korean cuisine will like.... for Korean food lovers out there, you guessed it... bulgogi, rice, mandu, kimchi, kimbab, and I'm going to try my hand at a Korean salad. I'm going to try to make bibimbap on Sunday for just our family. But, we'll see how that goes.

I had to leave you with a link to this video. I really hope it works because it is hilarious!! I laughed through the whole thing. Unfortunately, I think I need to post before I can actually click on the link and have it take me to the video. Hopefully, it doesn't take me to something horrible. I'll let you know....

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=203514

Is Vanicream nontoxic?

I better first clarify the title of the blog. Last night, after Andrew was done in the bathtub, I had taken him out and was putting lotion on him. Henry and Charles, who are still in the tub, start yelling to come see this...I know, scary... They explained that they were playing Mulan. For anyone who hasn't seen Mulan, there is a part in the movie where Mulan goes to prepare for a test to see if she is worthy of marriage. In this part, she is in a bathtub and a lady is washing her hair. So, Henry is Mulan and, when I get into the bathroom, Charles is pouring shampoo over his head. About 1/4 to 1/2 of a bottle which is A LOT of shampoo. Once we got it rinsed out, I returned to Andrew who had managed to sneak the lotion lid. And, since apparently lotion is VERY tasty (I can't confirm it since I've never tried it....that I can remember anyway...but Charles used to like it too) he tried to lick the lotion off the lid. He managed to get a little, but at least some...thank goodness... made it to his face.
Just a few other pictures from the weekend.

Andrew is getting VERY good at cruising. I had left him at the chair so I could finish supper. When I turned around, he was gone. He had gone under the desk and was patting the wall.


The past week has been very busy. Henry is really enjoying school, and Charles is settling into preschool without Henry. We had various appointments and meetings last week which served to make a very tired, stressed-out mom. Thankfully, I already had plans to meet with a couple friends on Thursday which was a great stress-reliever. This actually followed one of those days when I seriously thought I must be raising wild animals. Andrew had an appointment in the afternoon so I took the Brothers along since Travis was working. We had a very nice discussion before the doctor came in about letting Mommy talk to the doctor without interruptions, and sitting quietly on the couch while I visit.... HA!! What was I thinking? Once I finally got them to sit on the couch, I was interrupted with...'Mom! Charles spit on my book!' Then, when the appointment was nearly over, they start trying to wrestle and Charles starts to pull Henry's shorts. Oh my...at least the doctor found it funny.

We had a great weekend with wonderful weather. We watched the demo team from Henry's tae kwon do school perform on Saturday morning at a Kid's Fair. Andrew took 3 steps unassisted, got his only 2 teeth, and added a couple new words to his vocabulary. This week looks to be much more manageable.

A few pictures

Min and Dad on the first day of school. He's doing very well walking with just one hand.
Picking up dandelions. As always, he tries to eat them. We say, 'ick.' He spits it out and say, 'ick.' He's saying a few more words. 'Ouch,' 'ball,' and just starting to say, 'puppy.' He doesn't quite have both syllables down in that one, but he's getting it.
His first mandu which he loved! We had to steam them since he has no teeth, and won't eat anything except big people food. He won't let us feed him either, so it has to be something he can pick up.


My two tough guys. Henry went to a birthday party today with a pirate theme. He thought it was great!!! Charles, who has never been one to dress up very scary, except when he wears the Darth Vader helmet (a very funny sight, by the way) decided to dress up like a pirate. He was even able to swing a mean pirate face. I managed to catch this picture before he started to laugh. And, Henry of course, has no trouble making a mean face. He LOVES to dress up like scary people and make this face for us. He's our little actor!
Henry still likes school and seems to be excited that he gets to go again on Monday. He hasn't quite figured out that he will go everyday for many months. But, he's enjoying it so that's good. Now, he wants to ride the bus. I told him we needed to get settled with just going to school first. I think we'll try to ride our bikes on the days Charles doesn't have preschool. By the way, Henry's party was over by the school where Camp Moon-hwa is held. As soon as we got close, the boys started talking about camp, when does it start, we want to go everyday....as soon as we turned the corner and could see the school they were cheering...'We LOVE Korea camp!' Too bad we couldn't go more often.

Kindergarten!! Here I come!!

Congratulations, Henry, on your first day of kindergarten!!! Here are a few pictures of the day. I had a really hard time getting ANY pictures at all of him standing still.
On the monkey bars before school starts. We've been here before, and he's very proud that he's been able to do the whole thing.
Coming out of the school at the end of the day...actually, 11:50 a.m.

Henry did awesome today. We were a little worried because yesterday morning he had a few meltdowns over nothing. We went to visit his teacher in the afternoon, and he was fine ever since. He woke up this morning and said, 'I get to go to school today!' He hopped out of bed, got dressed, and was downstairs in hardly any time. We got in the van and dropped Charles off at Ja Neal's. I almost felt worse for him. We hadn't really worried about Charles since he'd be going to the same place he always does. But, Henry wasn't going to be with him. Charles asked in the van if Henry would be going to Ja Neal's, and I said he was going to school instead. Charles response...'Well, if he isn't going to Ja Neal's, then you're fired!!' I'm not sure what I was being fired from, but I just said, 'Okay.' Charles didn't cry when I dropped him off (he hasn't done that for at least a year), but you could tell he was close. Ja Neal (she's so amazing), just took him by the hand and brought him to breakfast and he was fine. Henry, Min and I picked up Travis and went to breakfast. Henry asked, oh about 100 times, if he was going to be late for school. We got there at 8:50, and the bell rings at 9:10. He played on the playground and when the teacher cam to call them to line up, he ran off to line up with everyone else. Not a good-bye, not a hug, nothing. We were feeling a little relieved. Yes, a hug would have been nice, however, Henry has notoriously had a very difficult time starting new things...Sunday school...tae kwon do...etc. We've had a great deal of leg hanging, crying, running away from the tae kwon do instructor... (also a very amazing person). So, we were able to give up the hug for a boy who was excited to line up with everyone else. Of course, I cried as we left the parking lot....and again after I dropped Travis off at work....and again as I drove back by the school on my way home.... I couldn't believe my baby was old enough to go to kindergarten. We picked him up after school and had a picnic before picking up Charles. We managed to make it Ja Neal's just in time to see his oldest and best friend, Mikka, get on the bus. She started kindergarten today, too. And, what did Henry's mom do? She cried!! Thank goodness Ja Neal cries at everything too, so I didn't feel too foolish. But, it didn't seem that long ago that Mikka and Henry started at Ja Neal's together. They were 14 months old. In the newsletter, Ja Neal would write that they managed to find the toilet paper and it was strewn all around the bathroom.

Congratulations, Henry!! We're very proud of you!!!

Look Mom!! Red Licorice!!

Thought you might like to see what it looks like when you're 11 month old gets hold of red licorice. Mmmmm!!! Yes, the stains came out of his shirt, and he LOVED every minute of it. He actually confiscated it from the coffee table. Henry had made Charles a gift by putting a variety of treat foods in a brown paper bag. Charles accidentally left the licorice on the coffee table with the rest of his presents, AND....well, you can see what happened to it. Since Andrew found it fair and square, I let him have the glory of eating as much of it as possible.

He had a very nice bath afterwards, too. He LOVES the tub, but I"m not so crazy about his 'cruising' in there. He seems to think the faucet and soap holder make great handles, (and my hands... since they are about 1 inch from him when he cruises the tub). Thankfully, he hasn't decided to try the stairs.

Tomorrow is the big day for Henry. This morning started with a few meltdowns over the most ridiculous things. We went shoe shopping (for Henry), and this afternoon had a visit with his teacher. What a boost that was!! She took Henry into the room for a few minutes to assess him, and we filled out paperwork. He was completely at ease. She took us on a tour, told us where they would line up in the morning, and where I would be waiting when it was over. He's been great ever since, and this evening wanted to make sure that we would look through his backpack and make sure he had everything. We'll cross our fingers that tomorrow will go well.

Todays questions from Charles.... 'Why did God make us with butts?' Ummmm.....

Happy Birthday, Charles!!

Charles turned 4 on September 3rd. Actually, it was September 2nd, US time, since Korea is a day ahead, but we decided long ago that we wouldn't get into the technicalities. We went to Grand Forks to spend Labor Day weekend with Travis' brother and family. His parents drove over on Saturday. We left on Friday morning. It's about a 6 1/2-7 hour drive. We made a couple stops for some running and playing. All in all the boys (and mom and dad) did fairly well. We were all tired from being sick all week, but were feeling pretty good. We got to GF in the afternoon, and spent a very relaxing weekend visiting with family. The boys played with their cousins, who are 7 and 9, and practically fell into bed each night. We returned on Sunday evening. The return trip didn't go quite as well. Everyone was tired. The boys were crabby, and after our last stop in the Cities, Min decided that 6 hours strapped into a car seat was all he could take. My word!! We still had an hour to go. He cried and screamed for the next 1/2 hour. He did stop intermittently when I broke the law by unbuckling myself and leaning into the back seat to try to comfort him. The boys did their best by attempting a pow-wow which didn't really go over so well.

Charles and Andrew driving around in the Gator. It had belonged to their cousins who have outgrown it. They gave it to Charles for his birthday. He was ecstatic!! They've been driving it ever since.
Henry, Charles, Georgia, and Ella (the girls), in the the Gator in Grand Forks.
Peek-a-boo on the way to Grand Forks.
Charles eating birthday cake in Grand Forks....his favorite, chocolate.
Min on the way home. He'd had enough!!

We celebrated Charles' birthday on Monday. He picked out his own cake, and as is the tradition in our family, a restaurant to eat his birthday supper. Charles' choice....Red Lobster. Yes, we love Red Lobster. But, it was a little humorous that my 4 year old chooses that for his birthday dinner because he loves shrimp but then chooses chicken strips. What if he chooses the Broadstreet for his 6th birthday? I'm going to need to get a new job!!

As always, the boys' birthdays are bittersweet for me. Yes, I'm very happy to have birthdays to celebrate, and that these particular boys happen to be mine. But, their moms' in Korea are never far from my thoughts. The boys' birthdays must be difficult for them as well. I know that every year near the time of my transplant, I begin to relive the days sorrounding that anniversary. Our Korean mothers' must also be doing the same. I imagine they must be feeling sadness as they remember having to place their babies with another family...wondering if they will ever see them again. I wish that we could have contact with them so we could share these important days, and so they could watch their babies grow.