Monday, March 5, 2007

Our Korean mothers

I have officially started working on post-pacement paperwork I. We have a visit from our social worker on Wednesday, and need to submit the required paperwork to Korea. The copy of the passport is easy. The progress report is also easy, just takes a little time. The letter to the foster mom. This should be fine...it's not done yet. The letter to the the birth family....well, that's a whole other story. Like my friend Chris, I struggle wondering what to say to the woman who just gave me a child. Thank you? It just doesn't seem like enough. Yes, I've done this twice before...but it never gets easier. As I got the boys ready for bed tonight, and rocked Andrew to sleep I spent a lot of time thinking about the women who gave me the chance to be a mom...who gave us a family. What a gift!! But I cannot imagine how incredibly difficult it had to have been. I try to imagine how hard things would have to be for me to make that same choice...and I can't do it. I can't imagine it. I can not imagine having to give my child to someone else. They were incredibly brave, and so much in love with their children. I have always hoped and prayed that one day we will get to meet them so they will know who we are, where their children are, and the kind of life they are leading. I hope they will be pleased. We've always wondered if they have gone to the agency to retrieve these letters that we've written and to see the pictures that we've sent. I try to send a letter and pictures every year always hoping that this will be the time they decide to respond. We have been so blessed to have such incredible kids. Of course, I think they are the most beautiful, wonderful people on earth...just like every mom thinks of her children. I think about how happy we are, and at the same time am reminded that in Korea there is a mom who is grieving for her child...our child. I can't imagine that they ever stop missing the child they weren't able to parent. I always pray that God will give them peace with their choice, and that He will give them comfort and the knowledge that their children are happy and well-cared for. If ever there are people who should be prayed for...it is the mothers who KNOW they aren't able to parent, who continue a pregnancy knowing they will not be raising this child, and who lovingly choose to give their child a life with a family who is able to parent. I think God must have a very, very special place in Heaven for these mothers.

1 comment:

Chris said...

(insert sheepish embarassed face here) I ended up mostly copying the letter we wrote to Nathan's birthparents...although having been a parent a few years now we do have a slightly different perspective.
Our SW visit is in 2 hours ;)